If you feel like you’re losing your mind find your body,
I promise
your head will follow
To find a way to find parts of yourself
I always say against myself for myself
It is to say that at times when it gets very dark
I push my body hard
It is always to eventually find my mind
And all the different pieces I scattered around places
I have pieces missing in my memory, chunks of time
And I cannot get a hold of them
I think is the bipolar in me
The alternating between mania and depression
Sometimes makes my memories feel and look like fantasies
Ive said this before “ the things my mind made me see”
But also the things my mind made me forget
So I find myself often
Standing desperately on those pieces of memory, places that are so engrained in my
sensory memory
My mind can’t erase
I stand there to build the rest
To find my head again I had to trust the fantasies too
I had to have faith that wat wasn’t there yet was gonna be there again
To find my head I had to and I am still
pushing hard,
giving it everything I’ve got
Fo real
Discipline sometimes is almost suffocating
Perhaps painful too
Against myself for myself
by SAGG Napoli, 22 August 2024
